27 March 2009

War crimes in Indonesia

here was this documentary on tv last night, about war - especially the war in Indonesia got my interest. After WOII The Netherlands didn't want to loose dominian on Indonesia - they needed the money to rebuild after the war. So they did send soldiers to Indonesia. My father was one of them. Just outlived WOII as a teenager and then send off to the next war - this time as the agressor (my opinion) How old was my father, 19 years, maybe 20?

Well, he never really spoke about this war and what it did to him. One thing I know, someone told me - he had been forced to choose between his life or that of some other Dutch guy - he choose to save his own. So they shot the other.

Such things leave deep marks. No doubt.

Anyway, this documentary told about war crimes, comitted by the Dutch, so probably by my father too (although he wasn't my father yet at that time of course) As a child I was very connected to my father. There is a memory, a picture in me, hiding in a hole in the ground, a well and a feeling of something awful happening. That's not my memory, meaning I didn't experience something like that in this lifetime - I'm pretty sure it's part of my fathers legacy.

My father died a long time ago. Especially the last year of his life he was very troubled. I guess by his memories, he didn't speak about it with his children. He did speak with my brother in law though (he died too, some years ago now) that's why I know - but I do not know what happened to him in this war (or WOII for that matter - he was just a boy then, and my mother even younger)

In this documentary was this man, survivor of this war in Indonesia, that wrote a book about what happened - about the war crimes. Maybe I will read it, not sure yet. Would it assist in letting out pictures?

Have to look up the name though, something like 'Boonstra' he is called, the writer. Graa Boomsma -De laatste tyfoon

"Indië 1945-1949: ze heetten politionele acties, al komt er geen politie aan te pas. Er komt na de acties een onderzoek naar oorlogsmisdaden, gepleegd door het Nederlandse leger en een bronnenpublicatie. Het duurt 25 jaar eer deze publicatie verschijnt en verdwijnt vervolgens in de la."

De staat van ontkenning

25 March 2009

Vocabulair Purifier

The human being is existence of body and mind and awareness.

  • Body is self functioning.
  • Mind is controlling/enslaving.
  • Awareness is the observer/participant.

The body place information at DNA level--and the cells of the body, through its plasticity/formability, is that which, through the mind, create the reality currently using a system. We have removed most of this. But at cellular level, each must deprogram self and place all words in oneness and equality as life.
The cells will, through the words, form a sound crystal/form and project that into and as holographics. So, if you have 5 meanings for love--it will be stored at different places in the body and have 5 different crystal information structures. So, when you speak or say or feel the word love--it will come from one of your memory storages at cellular level.
If you do not know exactly what you have stored--you will say love, but that storage may have fear linked to love, and thus fear as love will manifest in your world as suppression, as it is equal and one to the information you stored.
Now, imagine having 5 different meanings for the word love playing the fool with you. You being the fool--because you do not even realise what you have stored as memory in the different points. You believe you love--but, unfortunately, all the love places have different judgments/memories/meanings programmed into you. This happens from birth till after school.
So, even finding it exactly to deprogram--not easy. That is why it takes at least 7 years, as you have to walk all time loops to assist you.
The purifier assist in identifying the various memory formats to correct through self forgiveness and self honesty. Thus, requires lots of self discipline, as we are programmed that others will teach us--like at school. School is where enslavement becomes a manifested personality.
Now, on children: When a child learn and we show them a picture of a house and say house, the child immediately become mind-based and not reality-based. Why? Because we lie--without knowing it. We show the child a PICTURE OF A HOUSE, yet we say IT IS A HOUSE. That is not so--it is NOT A HOUSE--IT IS A PICTURE OF A HOUSE.
So, when you show the child a picture, say CLEARLY: This is a PICTURE of a house. Then, take the child to TOUCH the ACTUAL house. Take the child around the house touching it to gain a SENSE OF REALITY.
The purifier place words at high speed into cellular memory.
Mum must do the practical touching thing explained above.
See, in school, learning is very slow. The child is taught to learn at the speed of the mind. The body is far more effective than the mind. The practise speed on the purifier is the speed of the mind learning. The master speed is the speed of the body learning, and the body take in immediately. Thus, focus on pushing the child to trust themselves as their bodies. One hundred percent effectiveness--do not accept excuses. Also, do not use emotion or threats. Repeat by example. Remember, if a parent is no example--the parent have no power to assist as life.
It is important to do all words in the purifier and observe the child. If the child is fidgety, it is suppressions coming up--thus, resistance--push through it--always finish a task. When the nose or face goes red when a word flash--an anxiety suppression.
Very soon, one will learn how to assist the child. Eventually, they do it for themselves.
Little children: Start with the alphabet--make it real--no pictures. So, a for apple--have a real apple to touch, etc.
Start a child ASAP--they should read BEFORE they go to school, or they get DUMBED down, like all of society.
When the child get wordlists from school--there is an editor on the program, enter the words, let the child do practise, then test on master level. Their marks should be 100% for every spelling test. That will boost their confidence.
It is important to expose a child to school when they are young. When older--see what they want to do. I never get involved but with vocabulary and reading skills. In a world of information--that is the skill that is most important.
--Common Sense

19 March 2009

Blood-clotting: clone of parents

With regards to the current design of blood-clotting within you as the physical:
Within the word Clotting = Clothing / Cloning / Clone-King.
Within the Blood of the physical human body is designed the ‘generation-hereditary-passing’ – within which exist all that which has been passed unto you from the generations and the lives that has gone before you, and that you have lived as your past-lives.
Thus – the Blood in the physical human body is the ‘manifested flowing format’ as representation of the design of DNA, thus – what exist as the design of your DNA, and exist within the design of your DNA – exist within and as the manifestation of and as your Blood in its entirety.
So – within your existence as your past-lives, and that of your ‘forefathers’ as the generations that has gone before you – all of that ‘manifested information as what they lived and you lived as ‘who you are’ – was ‘passed on’ into and as and through the physical through time = All of it.
This ‘passing-on’ – was done through the Blood – wherein the blood of the parents, would manifest/design the DNA of the Child – and then in turn, the Child would pass-on ‘themselves as the Mind’, unto their children – wherein their blood would eventually manifest/design their child’s DNA and so on and so on.
So – within the very manifestation as blood-clots exist all that which you have ‘cloned of yourself’ from your parents and ‘clothed’ yourself within – meaning, defining you as ‘who you are’ according to that which you ‘copied’ from yourself and cloned yourself as a copy of them – becoming a copied clone as your parents.

Even though this that I describe exist within every being as human within this world in and as their physical body as blood as DNA - The reason why it manifest in/as blood-clotting within some and others not – depends on the ‘Intensity of your Being’ and the ‘Extensivity of your Expression’ – meaning how intense and how extensive you ‘act / behave’ within the experience of yourself in this world.
Because what happens is that – that which you ‘copied’ and cloned yourself as of your parents – meaning, that of their mind-design which you copied from them as a child and lived/acted within as though it was ‘who you really are’ (in that process of living so – becoming a physical-living clone of them) = and living this ‘cloned-design’ of your parents as certain parts as behaviours/traits/way of thinking/reacting, with such intensity/extensiveness = blood-clots manifest because your intensity/extensiveness of Being as your expression is too intense and extensive for the Mind consciousness system design to ‘handle’ = and thus manifest an ‘imbalance’ within your physical body within the mind consciousness system design.

So, your ‘beingness’ as Intensity and Extensivity – within the cloned-design of your parents you exist as within the mind consciousness system – that ‘beingness expression’ of yourself as that ‘part of your actual expression’ that is infused within and as the mind consciousness system as the clone-design you exist as – imbalances the mind consciousness system and thus compensates for itself through ‘filtering your expression into itself’ = and holding in ‘pockets’ stored within the veins of the human physical body so that it can function ‘normally’ and ‘contain’ your expression/beingness of intensity/extensivity.
Within this containment-pockets manifested within the veins of the human physical body – wherein the intensity of the beingness of you is filtered within so that the mind consciousness system can function according to its normal-pre-designed level of functionality = blood-clots form in turn, as the human physical body itself – compensates for the pressure manifested within the veins of the human physical body caused by the manifestation of the containment pockets.
So – the forming of blood-clots is the manifestation of the human physical body – attempting to release pressure manifested within itself due to an entire manifested ‘imbalance’ caused due to the imbalance ‘experienced’ within and as the mind consciousness system itself that exist in and as the physical.

The following is suggested:
For the moment – utilize what is necessary/available to assist and support the ‘physicality’ of the human physical body as the ‘condition’ it is currently manifested within.
There are a few points as Self to approach with regards to the manifestation of Blood-clotting within and as the physical human body as self, due to how self exist within and as the mind consciousness system as self, as what self has defined self to be as ‘who I am’:
To clearly identify what of your parents – you have copied unto yourself, and are living as though it is ‘who you really are’. This is done as follows:
Realise that – because you have become/are the living manifestation as clone of your parents – you ‘cannot always see that which you are as the entirety of you’ – so, you utilize your reflection as you to assist and support you within this process of ‘seeing yourself’ – which, in this case specifically, is your parents. Your parents that is you – both from the perspective of the principle of equality and oneness, and from the perspective of you being a clone of them from the perspective of their mind consciousness system design. So – in observing them as you – meaning, identifying what of them have you copied and cloned yourself as in becoming ‘them’ from the perspective of themselves as a mind consciousness system-design – you’ll be able to assist and support yourself to ‘de-clone’ yourself so to speak and give you the opportunity to live you as who you really are within the principle of equality and oneness as Life = and no more exist as a cloned mind consciousness system.
Therefore – to clearly identify what of your parents you have copied unto yourself, and are living as though it is ‘who you really are’ – you observe them within yourself within the following way:
Step 1:
Take two books, or two ‘Word-Sheets’ – one for ‘Mother’ and one for ‘Father’.
Step 2:
Now – you observe your Mother and Father closely within yourself – within asking the following questions within yourself:
1. What of my mother and what of my father irritate me? Meaning – what actions do they take in their behaviour or way/manner of speaking or doing things that irritate me?
Then, you write it down specifically under each sheet or within each book.
2. What do I blame my mother and father for? Meaning - what blame exist within me towards them – because of me feeling that they’re the ‘cause’ / ‘reason’ / ‘problem’ for experiences that exist/manifest within me and my world?
Then, you write it down specifically under each sheet or within each book.
This is but two examples – you have to have a look at towards what of your Mother and your Father you react to specifically – and identify the specific reaction-experience towards the particular thing they do/say and the way they say/do it.
When you’re done with this process and you’re satisfied that you’ve clearly ‘laid-out’ your experience towards your parents specifically from the perspective of identifying what of them do you react towards and what specific reactions come up within you towards what they specifically do / say –the following step follows:
Step 3:
Realise/understand that – all that you have written down with regards to the experience of yourself within yourself towards your Parents – Reflect directly, you back to yourself – as that of your parents you’ve copied unto yourself and currently living-out. Because – that which you react to, towards your parents, is exactly what you’re doing within yourself and existing as within yourself.

For example, a simple point:
Let’s say you identify that – the way your mother hold a cup of coffee – irritates you, and the way she drinks it irritates you – you actually hold a cup of coffee and drink the coffee in the exact same way – but you don’t see it as yourself, because you’re living it in doing it so absolutely – thus, your mother reflect you back to yourself directly as what you’ve copied of her.
Or you identify that within the way your father approaches a situation when speaking with you and you react in anger/resentment towards him, because of the sound of his voice and the manner within which he postures his physicality = you react towards him, because you speak the same way, in the same voice standing in exactly the same way towards others in your world = he’s reflecting how you speak/stand in certain situations towards others directly.
So, within Step Two - you can start/begin with either your Mother or Father – and herein this step – require self-honest practical self-assessment:
All the Points you have written down with regards to what exactly you identified of your Mother and Father as ‘how they present themselves in situations/acts within word and deed’ that you React towards, which as I explained - is a direct reflection of yourself, as how/why you ‘present yourself in situations/acts within word and deed in the exact, precise way’ – you ‘flag-point’ within you.
Meaning – as you participate within your daily-activities / in your world – you observe yourself – and the Moment you See that you’re ‘accessing’ a ‘cloned-point’ within yourself, meaning ‘about to act/behave in the exact same way your parents/one of your parents do’ as that which you copied of them which you identified for yourself in writing = you STOP yourself immediately from going into such behaviour/speaking in a certain manner/tone. You must stop yourself in the Moment – immediately and simply NOT PARTICIPATE in anyway whatsoever. Breathe – change yourself in the moment and ‘start again’ within approaching the moment in self honesty here – instead of acting/behaving as a ‘automatic-pre-programmed clone’.
This is the ‘Practical-Corrective-Action’ application – as the physical-practical walk to be lived/applied by you – to actually Change you in fact in the Moment immediately.

Now – with regards to the Self-Forgiveness within/as/of this Process – is suggested to be done as Follows:
The Self-Forgiveness you can do as you identify each point individually within the writing-out of the process of identifying what of your parents you have copied and is living as yourself as clone of them = or you can apply the self-forgiveness once the entire process is complete and you walk through each point individually and apply self-forgiveness.
It is suggested for the Self-Forgiveness to be applied as follows:
Using the example of the ‘Cup’ with regards to your Mother – (here I’ll give an example of the entire process – from self forgiveness to the self-corrective action/change point):
You identified that you react towards how your Mother holds a cup and how she drinks from that cup. You identified that you react in irritation towards that – because you experience within yourself that she’s ‘presenting a lie’ – because she’ll hold a cup and drink from it in a sophisticated way when around ‘friends or family’ to present ‘sophistication’, but when she’s alone – she’ll drink it in a different way – not caring how she’s holding the cup or drinking from it.
Self Forgiveness:
First you start with your reactive-experience . This part of Self-Forgiveness done to assist and support you, for when the moment arrives again – simply stop and accept/allow you to react or participating within the reaction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in irritation towards how my mother holds and drinks from her cup.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in irritation – because of me experiencing her to be presenting a lie of sophistication towards others – because I see her drinking differently when she’s alone.
Secondly – you go unto identifying how it is and where it is that you ‘present a lie’ within holding a cup/glass in a certain way and drinking it in a particular way when you’re with other people. This part of self-forgiveness done so – to assist and support you in ‘preparing the way before you’ – so that when you are in actuality, in the physical within a situation where you’re holding a cup/glass and drinking from it – change you in the moment of drinking it/holding it – so as to ensure that you’re not drinking it/holding it to ‘present a lie’ to/towards other people to ‘show off’ / ‘please’ for example – but change you in self honesty in the moment and simply enjoy the drink as you in holding the glass/cup as you. Then you go:
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I’ve reacted in irritation towards how my mother is holding a cup and drinking from it in a certain way within my experience of her ‘presenting a lie’ for other people – because I do the exact same way when I’m with other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a cup/glass a certain way and drink from it in a certain way when I’m with certain people to ‘present a lie’ within the starting-point of wanting to ‘please or show off’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to present a lie of myself towards others people through holding a cup/glass a certain way and drinking from it in a particular way – because I haven’t accepted me unconditionally – but is looking for recognition from others.

Alright – so you approach the self-forgiveness within each point:
First you start with your reactive-experience . This part of Self-Forgiveness done to assist and support you, for when the moment arrives again – simply stop and accept/allow you to react or participating within the reaction when it arise.
Secondly – applying self-forgiveness for how you act/behave in the exact same way as that towards which you reacted. This part of self-forgiveness done to assist and support self to actually stop and change self practically, immediately in the moment when you see/realise your action/behaviour.
From the Self-Forgiveness applied = you walk the ‘Practical-Corrective-Action’ application – as the physical-practical walk to be lived/applied by you – to actually Change you in fact in the Moment immediately – as we discussed above.
Applying self-forgiveness and actually living the application of self-forgiveness – meaning actually changing you immediately in the moment – is the key to actual, real Self-Change/Transformation as self forgiveness without actually, practically changing you in the moment of experience = is Useless.

If you grew up with only a mother or only a father – you ‘work with’ only your mother/only your father as reflection of you.
If you grew up with a grand-parent or aunt from childhood – you ‘work with’ your grand-parent / aunt / uncle as reflection of you.
Basically, thus – you ‘work with’ the being(s) that has had an direct-influence in your child-hood years that ‘stood as your parents / were your parents’ – as it is of them that you have copied yourself into becoming the manifested clone of them.

This particular application of ‘de-cloning’ you – of no more existing as the servant of the clone-king as the manifestation of clotting of blood – as existing as a copy of those that has gone before you: is the primary-focus-point application with regards to beings’ physicality as themselves manifested within blood-clots / the recurrence thereof.
The blood-clotting will be a manifested physical indication of the effectiveness of your self-application – and will thus in its entirety become non-existent when you are as the entirety of yourself as the completeness of you = no more existing as a Clone – but as self-honesty, as here, as ‘who you really are’ – and is living this in actuality in every moment as breath as you – proven.

However – blood-clots or none – it is suggested for each being to walk this process as is suggested within this document in its entirety – for each one is a manifested-clone of those that has gone before them, and will assist and support you to within specificity and preciseness – actually change you, from no more existing as a clone – but as who you are as your unique expression in self honesty here, equal and one with and as all. This is an opportunity only you can give to yourself – to re-discover you – and actually for the first time – live and express the REAL you.

What I have walk through with you under the section: (Firstly: ) - is a walk as you that’ll have to be taken step by step – it’s your ‘‘process’-walk’ so to speak – so, don’t attempt to ‘haste through it’ – simply walk it as you walk in the physical within participating in this world.
I understand that, at the moment – all of it may ‘seem’ as ‘much’ – but – in taking it step by step and actually beginning – the ‘process-walk’ will become you – and the ‘much’ will disappear – because you’re actually walking the physical-change of you as you. So – take it ‘easy’ on yourself – meaning, don’t be hard on yourself or be ‘deterred’ from the seeming ‘amount’ thereof – it only seems that way at the moment – because it’s not yet you living it as you equal and one – you’ll see – once it becomes you = it’ll simplify itself as you and you changing you – will become ‘more immediate’ – but first: You have to start.
So – the ‘Secondly-Section’ – this is your every-moment self-assistance and self-support. Your self-foundation support as you walk through your process as described within the ‘Firstly-Section’.
Here – BREATH is ‘important’.

Understand – that, because you are an ‘intense and extensive’ being within your nature – you have a tendency to ‘rush’ and experience ‘rushes of haste’ – wherein you go into a manifested physical experience of intense/extreme ‘stress’ – ‘stressing yourself’ into unnecessary limits of emotional/feeling reactions – almost immediately.
This also perpetuates the manifestation of blood-clots, this tendency to ‘strain yourself to the extreme’ in relation to emotional/feeling reactions/experiences within you – which happen almost suddenly/immediately and ‘strain’ the physical in itself.
Therefore, it is important to assist and support self, to not accept/allow self to place strain unto and as the physical as you through participating within unnecessary ‘extreme/intense’ emotional/feeling reactions of/as self-strain – wherein you almost experience an ‘addictive’ type-of ‘energetic-rush’ – for it is this energetic-rush specifically – that perpetuates the manifestation of blood-clots also.
So – remain here as breath – SLOW YOU DOWN – be the expression of slowing down – move gently through your day with yourself as you – and walk and stop and change you accordingly.
Imperative to ensure you don’t accept/allow yourself to go into the extremes of any emotional/feeling reaction/experience = herein BREATH assist and support and slowing yourself down to walk as the moment.
So – whenever you feel/experience yourself go into any ‘extreme-experience’ of emotion/feeling – or creating it within yourself through thoughts/reaction to manifest as you: STOP – simply don’t go there – stabilize you here as breath – utilize the tools available and self-discipline you to stop going into ‘mind-addictions’ such as thought-patterns and reactions.

For further self-assistance and self-support – suggested to utilize the Word-Purifier – to assist and support self in standing one and equal as words as Sound.
Because through the Word-Purifier – you ‘purify words’ as ‘cleansing you’ – from any ‘energetically-charged’ system-construct manifestations that exist/is manifested in and as your physical that ‘activate’ within you of the mind consciousness system – when speaking and hearing words.
Because even within speaking/hearing words – from which you are separate, words which you’ve defined according to ‘what you exist as’ as ‘personality of mind’ as ‘cloned-copy’ of your ‘parents’, as words that contain ‘energetic-charges’ and ‘system-constructs’ of mind – these ‘energetic-charges’ gets activated, used by the mind consciousness system to ‘power itself’ and ‘saves’ the energetic-charges from the words spoken/heard into and as the physical – that pressurize the physical, and thus play a direct-role within the ‘support’ of the manifestation of blood-clots.
Therefore – I’d suggest, an hour a day – assist and support you with the Word-Purifier – breathe as you see and write the word, simply release the reactions/thoughts that come up – until you can type the word/words without any movement/motion/reaction within you.
This will assist and support you greatly as walk this process – for the Word-Purifier within Sounding words as you as being equal and one as/with words – will release manifested physical energetic charges and system-constructs that manifested due to participation in emotions/feelings as energy to give you the opportunity to actually express you, instead of existing as reaction = and thus, in essence assist and support with the Changing of you – from System-Clone to Self-Expression as Sound.

Within all of this – the intensity/extensivity of the nature of your expression will no more be diverted into the existence of the mind consciousness system as what you exist as in and as the physical – the mind consciousness system which can only handle ‘certain levels of functionality’ in and as the physical – but you will become the living expression of / as Intensity equal and one with you one and equal as the Physical = which is a much ‘different’ expression that’ll emerge as you than what is currently manifesting through the mind consciousness system as what you believe/think yourself to be.
But first – it is to be equal and one with yourself here – thus, stop existing as a clone as the mind in separation – and actually change you in living application – to within the living the change as you – self-realise who you really are.
So, it's walking the tools - self forgiveness, self honesty, self-corrective action - within the specificity, as the specificity as suggested.

17 March 2009

God and Ascension: Part One

So let’s discuss Ascension and the God Delusion. Or, let’s put it another way: How did God create God-Self? This is the way to become ‘God’.

Ok...In existence, a long long long time ago, beings were getting quite bored. And some of them noticed an interesting thing: no matter what they do, there was no consequence. There was no... – although a belief existed of a God or a Creator, nobody ever interfered. Beings existed as races and as groups and as groups of interest and they travelled the universe...and they were born and they died. Just like, very much similar to now. So, a fascinating idea came about, like a light bulb that went on in a way. That –notice an interesting thing- that in a way it would be possible to exist forever. But what you have to do to exist forever – that means also to control everything, forever- would be that you have to divert everything to yourself, all power. Because if you have all power you can also direct your own existence. To do that, a fascinating thing was done - a fascinating consideration: what was being noticed, was a fascinating occurrence, occurrence, in the universe; where all the planets and the universes were in a way dimensional, meaning, call it multidimensional, it was in a way existent similarly to what you would now experience as how you see pictures in the mind. It was like, a mind universe.

But something was happening: it was becoming matter. What is matter? Matter is a relationship between yourself, space –that which is existing- and how it moves –time. That was becoming relative, real –responding to the influence, the input you put into it. That means that this that was becoming real was programmable. You can give it an input and it will give you an output. And if you control the input you control the output.

Obviously, what was a fascinating difficulty was: everybody is going to find this out and understand that the input equals the output. How do you make sure that nobody finds out that the input equals the output? You place them into a reality that is not part of these 3 points: self, space and time. You create a new reality for them – a 4th dimension. You create for them a heaven, you create for them a place to go to, where they actually in ‘going that’ –which is like ascending, they send their ass somewhere-in doing that, they are actually re-creating them into an idea - existing as if they are all-powerful, as if they are ‘God’ while they’re not. While you that is controlling all of that –you are God. Because you are actually controlling everyone. How do you do that is: you create a system that mimics matter: the mind. It is a reflection. And that reflection has an interesting point: It is the reverse; if you look at it, it’s like looking in a mirror, everything is... where the one side is the opposite of... –you know you have left and right- left becomes right and right becomes left, so you...it’s a complete reversal of everything that exist as a projection within which you create yourself. How was that then done was fascinating, because when a child is born, in this reality, the child do not have a Self, personified in the mind. That doesn’t yet exist. The child is actually here, in space and time. Real. Powerful. Pure. What happens then; a personality, an idea is created within which the child encompass themselves until all that exist as the human here; is just a mind reflection of themselves. Then the mind becomes the reality they are trying to master.

How to master that, is fascinating, because within this whole process it will go through an apparent ‘stage of evolution’: You will, as you move through your reality, become dissatisfied with what you are experiencing. Then you will start searching for an alternative. And in that search - it’s like already placed in you as a program - you will go to the next stage: You will then move from believing mom and dad to believing in God and a religion. Then, when you are dissatisfied with that you’ll start believing in yourself as the reflection as God; which is like ascension. It’s just a short view of your ‘progression’ which everybody eventually take. And each of those things will be equated to time: either a ‘coming again’ or a ‘New Age’ or some form of time-related construct. Now what did the programmers of the input realize? They realized that they could divert all the creative power of every single being into a system, and fuel that system. All they have to make sure of is that they never step into that system - because they’ll lose themselves. So therefore, they created what you would call today ‘Heaven’.

From there, they controlled the input of every being, being born. How did they do that? By seeding it, they also seeded the whole reality as nature. What is a SEED? A seed is that which contain the information of that which it would become, isn’t it? So if you take the seed of a flower you can look at the seed and by the knowledge of the seed you can say: this seed is this flower. Because in the seed is contained the information, the program, that will bring forth this flower. That program is DNA as a general description. Obviously there’s a lot more about how it works, in terms of its construct –chromosomes and, you name it -the whole story.

Part Two to continue…

13 March 2009


aah ok, personal attacking on YouTube is starting. I've opened up a new channel and used my birthname, uploaded the Desteni vid about using your real name to stop abuse on YouTube. And some guy is attacking me on 'me hiding behind my child because all I say my child this, my child that' and 'why can't he see me in my vids'.  I react. Strongly on the 'child' part. And him using my name 'Ingrid'.

So yes, it is 'working', the birthname thing. I react more strongly because of that. It feels more 'intimate' as if he knows me.

'Stop hiding behind your child' Yes, I should stop that. In real life I do hide behind my child. That's what moves in me when reading his comment. And I felt like commenting back with some 'smart ass' answer. Protecting me. Well, I didn't comment yet, maybe I wont. Next thought that came up was: what is best for all in this case? And here I am, writing, because that's best for all, me purifying me. Maybe I will respond later on this guys comment - see if and how I can assist him.

Reacting on Hiding behind my kid + Reacting on being 'attacked' - that's what's happening, this guy is talking 'shit' - I do not comment with 'my child said this' all the time - maybe once or twice. And I did upload some vids with me in it on my former channel, so yes, he is reacting to something on the vid, or Desteni, or something and is taking it out on me. (I still have to make sure I am being 'fair', seeing straight - not trusting me yet)

Attack - me in counter attack. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel attacked by unappropriated criticism. Onterechte kritiek. Aaaaaaaaaah, box of Pandora - many times in my life I've felt I was attacked in my back, by 'friends', leaving me speechless, breathless. Just plain vicious attacks. To hurt me for some reason I didn't understand. It hurted because I couldn't see why someone wanted to 'knock me down', brutal, abusive, because of what? Obviously I did something, said something that was triggering somethings in these 'friends' - many times I could see this had nothing to do with me, but it still hurted because they were supposed to be my friends and why, in stead of taking a closer look at yourself, should you stab a knife in the back of someone you call friend? Yes, still hurting I am. Ooops, must I really write down all the times this happend? It happened alot. I allowed it alot. I always felt breathless, in shock. Unfair. So unfair and not safe - because when a friend, or my mother, all of a sudden turns against me and out of the blue starts stabbing me, becomes some evil stranger, where I should feel safe with because of friendship, because of family, because of the relationship, well, if not with them, where could I feel safe, when could I be sure the other person wouldn't do such a thing? Yes, right nowhere, no one. That's what I've learned, the hard way - no one can be trusted, always self interest first. Not even I can be trusted. I used to think I wasn't that 'bad', because of me withholding from acting on reaction on other people when observing in me I was reacting to something that was me not them. When feeling pissed, when feeling to want to hurt them badly, I withheld, took a look in myself to see what's really bothering me. And of course, there have been people that do the same, they aren't bothering me lol - it's the ones that were close to me that were attacking and hurting me out of their selfinterest. Not seeing me, just their own mindgames and no sense of some selfcriticism - yes that hurted alot. That's the core of it - me feeling hurt because of it, really really hurt - I cried, a long intense cry, like a child with big surprised eyes - with all good intensions, just being herself, no clue why her mommy turns against her all of a sudden. Some movement in my belly now. Aaah, it's gone -succesfully suppressed lol I'm sure it will show up again as I continue writing about 'backstabbing'.

Back stabbing. It's not the stabbing, it's the 'back' in it that's hurting. Me being oblivious of what's is going on behind my back, living my life my way, having fun, and then 'banggggg' knife in my back - shock.

I will continue in the next post

11 March 2009


'How can I believe someone who says that love is program meant to keep a human enslaved within their minds? '

Well, firstly look at where 'love' has brought us so far - not a nice sight is it, all this misery in the world - people starving, children molested, animals abused, nature abused - all by people (you and me included) that 'love' their family, their pets, their nation, tribe, their children etc. So this is 'love' that excludes. Love that excludes, is a fake. What we consider 'love', is fake - more precisely.

Love, well, I think none of us know what love is - so we should investigate. By observing myself (and I used to think of myself as a loving, caring person) I found that beneath all that is: self interest, much fear. Even my love for my child is not without self interest. As long as self interest is there - love is not there.
"Caring only happens when there is no scare or scar"

So, in a nutshell - love as we know it is limited, as the mind is limited. Who we really are, is not limited, not conditional and conditioned.

I know by experience: there has been a period in my life, some months, where I was not my mind, meaning I was not directed by my thinking, feeling or emotions. I simply was. Stable, silence in me, while participating in the world. There was no separation in 'me', my body and me were one. My actions weren't just followers of a thought, but actions, in the moment, autonomous. Thinking was only used by me when necessary - as a tool, not as the director of me. Quite a difference. At that stage, I was autonomous - not depending on other people for their approval or rejection - it did'n't matter, the judgments, the opinions, I could see very clearly, this wasn't me, neither was it the other people - it was programs (though at that time I didn't call it 'programs', but it's a very accurate word.)

So, for me, it is not 'believing' - for me it is knowing, for myself, by experience. I am not following some one, or a belief system from another person or group - simply looking to find that 'stable, silence' me again, not lost, but burried underneath all this 'mindshit'. And by establishing me as who I really am, I will contribute so much more of 'essence' to the world (that is me, that is you and me as all)  than I will ever be able to do as a mind. Mind is only destructive, even when in 'loving, caring, positive' mood, by that creating immediate the opposite somewhere in the world: 'hating, indifference, negative'. It is to stop mind participation to establish 'real love' in this world.

greetz Ingrid

Man does not exist as love

Man does not exist as love--man exist as this reality as it is now--all of this reality exist inside each being--here and in the dimensions--the pain--the abuse--the war--the deception--all is in each and each must purify all this in self--to understand what love is--thus-- the love that currently exist--even within and as a master--is not real--but the polarity scale of the illusion to lose self within an expression while other parts of the one that is all is still trapped in the illusion--to do this --is the ultimate self deception--thus all great masters are the greatest and most effective deceivers


06 March 2009

Fear of Weather/selfinterest

I've always kinda fear and in awe of the force of nature - huge storms, thunder, heavy rain, heavy wind, that's actually all that happened so far here in the Netherlands. No earthquakes or tornado's, so relatively safe.

I feared it but always there was the reassuring thought of the 'known' - we've had so many storms already in my lifetime and there never happened anything 'very bad', life threatening to me or in my world.

Now everything has changed. Before the storms were kinda like an outlet for all the 'overflow' of human created energetic surplus, created by emotional feeling and energetic charges of the physical of the human, programmed systematic weather. By the removal of The White Light everything has changed. We are on our own now. What will happen with the weather now it is out of the control of the system?


So basically the effect that we will be having, beings will become emotional and feeling wreaked basically will become uncontrollable from the perspective that you’ll go mad you’ll go insane with to regards ‘ what you are feeling what you are experiencing’ inside yourself because we are not being a slave supporting the mind any more.

We really have to sort our shit out. I really have to sort my shit out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to fear all the uncontrollable, bigger than me, bigger than my small world, bigger than my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to create the picture and therefor separation of something 'bigger than' and 'smaller than' instead of realising this is polarity and the 'me' is not 'smaller or bigger than', but all is one and equal. I am part of that, not separated from that which I perceive as 'bigger than me'. I am that. That is me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to get kinda pissed because the Weather leaves us on our own, 'helpless' and smaller than Weathers force. ieeeeeeeeeeeek, I actually comforted myself with mans power to control nature and weather. To feel safe, to not die or have a bad accident. I do put myself above all this. I am more important. Weather is less, I am of more value, my child is of more value, my family is of more value to me than weather, nature, animals, than other people I do not know, that are not visable, tangible, so they do not exist in my world.

Selfinterest. Selfinterest like any other human being. That's why it is such a mess. I actually trust myself more when saying this stuff outloud, this is who I am. Yeah, I like the other picture of myself - the 'loving, caring' one, the human being that is actually living oneness and equality, but lol, that's not who I am at all, yet. I am full of self interest. I used to think that I would put my childs life above mine, but I started to doubt that. Will I actually choose him and not me???? Of course, I do not know now, and it is of no importance. It is the question of self interest and the deceiving of myself, thinking I would put my childs life above mine, the mother matrix, feeling 'good' thinking those thoughts, I am questioning this.

So yeah, I'd rather have these earthquakes happening in for instance Japan and then I will sit safely here, going 'oh, that's terrible, we really must stop our minds!' and then go and sleep troubled but safely in my warm bed. Using these thoughts of 'stopping the mind' like donating money to help the victims of that earthquake, a substitute. Easing my consciousness and go to sleep. Fuck! That's the truth of me. Pleased to meet me.

So I embrace me as 'all self interest'. I embrace me 'as fear of the uncontrollable like the Weather and from within that wish it to happen to others and not me'. I do judge myself for that thought, for the selfinterest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to judme me as 'bad' because of self interest existing in me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to hide the self interest behind the picture of me as caring person that wishes no one harm.

When safe and warm in bed at night and hearing the sirenes of the ambulance I am glad it is not me or my family having an accident, hearing the sirenes of the fire brigade, I am glad it is not my home that is on fire. Very quick thought that is, almost immediately covered by me feeling sorry for the stranger that has this accident and his/her family or for the ones loosing their home - I am not allowing me to be straightforward egoistic, must hide this behind being 'the empathic' person. Like I am donating caring thoughts and that way it will be less bad for the 'victim' hahaaha this is sooooooo not true, I know now. Deceiting myself and all this way is destructive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me for hiding behind the picture of me as caring person that wishes no harm to anyone, but when it comes down to harming me and my family or harming another and his family I surely want them to be harmed, not me or my family. And then feel guilt because of this self interest and thinking it would be better if it happened to me.

Complicated construct lol the mind is good at that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to feel guilt because of my participation in self interest, which is of the mind and therefor feeding the unified conscious field.

So I embrace the feeling of guilt I create when self interest shows. I embrace me creating guilt. I embrace me creating self interest.

Stil reacting to 'selfinterest and me'. I am not allowing me to be self interest because I still think it's a bad thing, judging.

I'll take a short break now, going in circles here.

Interview with Weather

Weather (1hr:40min:30sec)
Portal Interview with Weather

Bernard: who is here weather?
Dimensions: ja
Bernard: bring us speak to us let us hear your experience of how you are experiencing yourself what is happening.

Dimensions: Well we, we basically use the, all the energetic manifested firm oil and mind manifested energetic charges of human beings and just gather it all up into our selves and then manifest and create a storm ... that’s how it works , its another form of release well that’s how it used to work, how we used to create and manifest storms and what storms really consisted of and existed as was: they take all of humanity’s emotional and feelings shit sucking it up into pockets into the atmosphere. And then with the atmosphere and the emotional energetic charges we create and manifest storms, now however we have to do it ourselves which is been an entirely different story creating yourself manifesting yourself basically. Because it used to operate as a system, storms and certain weather pattern manifestations would occur at certain times specific places according to the emotional energetic charge release of a certain parts of humanity. Because the mind consciousness system from merely couldn’t contain as much emotional feeling energy from what human beings are producing and then why the weather itself exist is merely to release the compound emotional feeling charges with in human beings so that their lives are more acceptable to program direction from dimensional beings.

All this I am explaining now is how it previously worked. It’s kind of like clearing space inside the physical inside the mind inside the being so that he can… that they can be directed and control more specifically at certain points within their lives pre-programmed live designs. Everything would like compound and it would be like a mess inside the human beings inside the mind that could alter or change and pre-programmed systems which would also change their pre programmed live past. And if that happened there could be chances of the being could get out of the systems and their less controllable from a dimensional perspective. And also from a mind perspective because the energetic charges of the emotional feelings are so extensive that the manifested systems of the mind and the physical eventually give in. And so weather with cleanup of the excesses emotional feeling and energetic charges of the physical of the human makes space for the mind and all the manifested physical systems to be able to function properly and effectively...

So that stopped when the white light was removed. The white light was the substance that kept the pre programmed systems in the mind and the world and the existence entirely its place intact. So when the white light was removed we were like on our own, meaning the excess energy emotional feeling charges within human beings wouldn’t naturally come up anymore as it used to in a natural pre programmed way in existence, as this world work so we for a while sucked it up for ourselves. We didn’t know what was going on because that is what we always did you know you could suck up into us and then that wasn’t effective because we then found that we couldn’t get all of it and our power and strength of storm and weather wasn’t as effective as it used to be. And so that caused some risks and confusion and stuff like that within us and in the process of oneness and equality stepped forth with in existence for each part of existence slowly but surely became aware of this process that was busy happening and realised that point of our existence that we were a pre programmed design that was created and which makes sense to regard to when the white light was removed why our programmed existence didn’t run as it used to. And from there we just started finding ways and methods to express ourselves by ourselves to weather without being pre programmed to express us whether it is to release energetic and emotional charges shit from within human beings that human beings are suppose to deal with not us. So basically the effect that we will be having, beings will become emotional and feeling wreaked basically will become uncontrollable from the perspective that you’ll go mad you’ll go insane with to regards ‘ what you are feeling what you are experiencing’ inside yourself because we are not being a slave supporting the mind any more. The system human beings each one must take that part onto themselves and let go of your pre programmed manifested design and start creating and expressing you by yourself and that is basically what we are doing.
Bernard: mmm fascinating ne

04 March 2009

Answeringmachine: you're not good enough youre not good enough

Something came up while talking on the phone with my friend. She said I wasn't looking that good the last time I saw her, getting thinner etc. Well, I told her that's ok, I didn't mind, comes with the territory etc. And that's how it felt at that moment.

Later on while in the shower I felt fear, some panic arise when thinking about what she said. Made no sense at all. Did sf on this. Pictures came up of 'friends' from the past telling me I was too thin (they were thinking of themselves as 'too fat' and using me to feel better, I guess and I let them abuse me this way, though it hurted me that they needed and wanted to abuse me this way) Ok, but this was not the intention of my friend on the phone. She was sincerely concerned about me aha no, even she had her own selfinterest at heart. I know this, because I am this too. Actually it is stupid to tell people they look bad and that they should take care of themselves. Just thin air. I mean, cook a meal or something, take action, but just these words...

Ah well, still no release, just mindtalk in the shower LOL Then I started to get pissed - I want people to let me be, do not touch me with your words etc! Got even more pissed and started talking to someone/thing outside me that it is never good enough, that I am never good enough! etc. I 'know' know that it is me talking to me, but that's not what I experienced - it was actually someone outside me, bigger than me, cause I looked up saying that.

So I replaced my fear with anger. In anger I feel stronger, more able to stand on my feet. I am neither.

Obviously there is fear connected in me being not good enough, never good enough - automated answeringmachine in me: I am not good enough, I am this, I am that etc I am this answeringmachine.


got to go, will continue later


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow these 'friends in the past abuse me and theirselves by letting them compare and feeling better about themselves because of comparison. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stand up at that moment and telling them to stop (because I was aware of what and why they were doing what they were doing) - I did not stand up for myself, I did not stand up for them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give other people the opportunity to abuse me and theirselves by not standing up.

I will not allow this, no more, never. I take the responsibility for me and my words and deeds and will show others theirs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel hurt by the deliberate harm these two friends inflicted on me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel hurt because of these two friends not being aware of the harm they inflicted. Weren't they? Ah, I've always thought it was out of unawareness, but that was what i wanted to believe! It would have been unbearable, the thought they did this on purpose. Maybe they did, 'maybe they didn't care!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer a state of ignorance above what was really going on, by continuos, deliberate thinking 'they do not know what they are doing' and within this not taking responsibilty for what was happening to me, and within this not confronting these two friends with their selfdishonesties. I've always 'understood' why people do what they do and let them do it to me...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive 'the thought that people harm each other and me on purpose' as unbearable - instead of realising it is me hiding for what is really here and stand up and say: NO! I will not allow this, this is unacceptable. This is not who we are, you are, I am. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide out of fear what is HERE, right in my face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place the voice telling me that 'You are not good enough, You are never good enough, You never look good enough, You never do things good enough' outside of me and above me - instead of realising this voice is me, repeating over and over again some programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise these thoughts of 'you are never good enough' are programs running and not who I really am. I've been listening to the same record over and over again, hypnotized by it, letting me be hypnotized by this subliminal voice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress these feelings of 'not good enough', in stead of standing up and saying: NO! This is not who I am, this is my programs running. I stop believing these thoughts. I stop listening to these thoughts. I stop participating in these thoughts. I stop the thoughts.

I will not allow myself no more no longer to accept abuse.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect 'I am not good enough' 'I'm not doing enough' to fear and panic. Fear is fear and 'not good enough' is 'not good enough.

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