Turning children into stiffs

A couple of weeks ago D. came home from school, very, very pissed, furious actually. He told me what happened. This guy that works there yelled at him, telling him to 'COME HERE'. Well, D felt he didn't wanted to be adressed that way but unfortunetaly isn't able to express that in words effective. So he just refused to listen to this guy (and I know the stubborn and daringly look D has at these moments, so the guy got pissed :). Then one of the teachers came and tried to force D to apologize to this guy, again she wasn't listening either to D - just insisting in a brutal way he should say sorry to the guy. Well, D refused to say sorry because he wasn't sorry! They punished him by placing him in this corner and he wasn't allowed to go home yet. lol D made a run for the door and got out of there.
So this is what we do with our children, even these days. The adults are allowed to yell and be nasty - the child not. Still has to obey and be polite and respectful because they are adults and the child not. The child is forced to apoligize even if he isn't sorry - teaching the kid this way that it is all about 'form' and not about honesty, living expression and real respect. The adults do not have to apologize to the kids. The adult is always right - so not!